Saturday, December 31, 2011

The year that was...

I've not written for so long...
But before I greet another new year, I would like to look back, take stock, reflect and just be thankful for all the blessings that was bestowed to me. It has been a year of making mistakes and learning valuable lessons. Sometimes I made the same mistakes but I learnt different lessons. For that, I'm still thankful.

Serving & finding meaning...
It is true "when the student is ready, the teacher will appear". Sometimes they appear even when we are not ready, and leave behind lessons for another day. Working in Hospis had brought many teachers to me, each sharing a truth that guided me on this journey. From them, I learned about serving from the heart...
I no longer question whether or not, patients benefit from my efforts, appreciate them, or even understand them; it is irrelevant. It is the elements that make life meaningful that is so important.
I serve because that's what I's how I find meaning.
I've learned that I do not have to be a doctor in order to serve. The opportunity to be of service to others is endless. A phone call answered in a pleasant tone, taking time to listen, helping an elderly cross the road : an entire life can be spent in service.
I serve because that's what I do and I'm happy doing it.

Being grateful
Gratitude is something that has been emphasized to me time and again. It's easy to feel grateful when something good comes our way, but what about being grateful for hardship, for poverty, for cancer?
"The beauty of the sunrise comes only after the darkest part of the night". Sometimes the illness or misfortune is an opportunity to learn or to teach and an opportunity to be grateful for the sunrise that was certain to follow.
Without the 'shortness of breath', one would not have the opportunity to experience a depth of life that health had not.

Running in the present moment...
Some find their present moment amid nature, others in the peace of silence or through meditation. Many find it from clearing of the mind and sinking into the quiet of the soul.
I found my present moment through the joy of running and fellowship with friends.
Yes, I am still running though not competing too much. But that doesn't make me a lesser runner.

In May this year, John & I raced our 1st race of the year in Kuala Kangsar.
I then proceeded to attempt my 1st Half Marathon (after a year's break) in June SCKLIM, wearing a friend's bib no. I clocked a poor 2hr 02mins, losing it to Sofian Triathlete!! The only consolation was I did a personal best for my friend, Eleanor.
In July, John took 28 friends and together we ran the Extreme Grassland Marathon in Inner Monggolia. Agnes Tee & I created history and made many of our running mates happy when both of us took the wrong route and came in last and second last respectively in this race!
In August, we took a mini holiday in Hatyai and ran the Hatyai Nature Run where I clocked 56 mins for the Quarter Marathon.
In September, we ran the Heritage Taiping Half Marathon in the rain. This time, I managed to improve my timing in 1hr 54mins.
In October, I registered for Adidas King Of The Road simply because I wanted to run the NPE 16.8km. It was quite a challenge with the rolling highway as race route. I returned in an hour 38mins.
We ended with the Nibong Tebal Inter-State which covers Nibong Tebal, Parit Buntar and Kedah. I clocked 1hr 59mins in this 21.9km race.
We had chosen to participate in the races above mainly because of friends and the bonding. The journey with them had made running more meaningful and exciting!

A Blessed New Year!
As I approach another new year, I hope to be able to stay fit and healthy, to be able to continue running, learning, growing and to love and live in the present moment.
And as we face the challenges and joys of 2012, I'll like to close with this old Irish prayer for everyone:
"May the road rise to meet you. May the wind be always on your back.
May the sunshine warm your face, the rain fall soft upon your fields, and until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of His Hand."

Friday, October 14, 2011

About connecting the dots, love, loss and death...

Sharing from Steve Jobs' speech...

New York: I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots.

I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?

It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.

And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.

It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:

Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, it's likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

My second story is about love and loss.

I was lucky - I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents' garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation - the Macintosh - a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.

I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me - I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.

I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the world's first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.

I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.

My third story is about death.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything - all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I'm fine now.

This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope it's the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

Thank you all very much.

Read more at:

Saturday, May 21, 2011


I have every reason to be grateful this week.

On Thursday, we took 18 guests from the Day Care out to visit the Prime Minister official residence in Seri Perdana, Putrajaya.
The morning didn't start off very well as one of my colleagues got really upset with me for not informing her about the outing. She showed her 'black face' not only to me but also our guests. (It's our guests because my guests are also her guests).

The 'old' me will probably see me trying to defend myself and we'll end up arguing over trivialities! That morning, I am so glad I was able to hold my peace and walk away from her. I told myself that my focus should always be on our guests, and I will not allow anything or anyone affect my mood and my day, especially when dealing with people who are unwell.

Perhaps, because of that, good things happened...

I am grateful to Soo Chien from Origins who sponsored our nurses with products from Origins on Nurses' Day. I don't know her but when I called, she just said YES to my request and even packed everything nicely for me!
I am grateful to Valentine from Redbox for providing a karaoke room and buffet dinner for the nurses to let their hair down during the nurses' day celebration.
I am grateful to have met a kind soul, Evonne from Mayflower who kindly got her company to fully sponsor us a 44-seater coach complete with a guide and water for our guests.
I am grateful to the management from the Prime Minister's office for being considerate and bypassing some of the house rules in order to facilitate our guests.
I am grateful to the manager of Seri Perdana for sponsoring our guests lunch at the banquet hall. It was a good lunch...with meals that are not oily or too spicy. Guests enjoyed it. Thank you for being so thoughtful.
I am grateful for all the volunteers who turned out to help. Volunteer drivers who had to pick extra guests on that day. One volunteer took leave to come and support us. Another volunteer spent time to prepare some finger food for us to take on the trip.
I am grateful for a supportive husband who voluntarily took the day off to help pick guests and help with the photography on that day.
I am grateful for all the support and help rendered to me by Dr. Felicia, physiotherapist Raymond, nurse Mastura and pharmacist Aidah.
I am grateful to our guests for teaching me patience, modesty and the value of life. For allowing me to learn something new from them every time we met. For showing me their grace and gratitude.

Are these reasons not good enough for me to be grateful this week? But then, there are more...

I am grateful for all that has happened to me in my life. I am grateful for every opportunity I have had to discover more about myself - each event has shaped me in to the person I am.

It has taken me a long while to realise that all the choices I have made in my life have been designed to train me for my future. Each time I have had the privilege on making a decision - right or wrong, on an option presented to me - at that point in time - that was the lesson that I had to learn.

I am extremely grateful for all the people who have appeared in my space - for their designated purpose - and the lessons they have taught me. The ability to think, remember, analyse, learn and grow from every experience is what I most appreciate. I am thankful that I have been presented with experiences and knowledge of others that have helped me to realise my true potential - and to encourage me to grow and improve.

In hindsight - every obstacle and suffering has shaped me - in ways that I had not imagine until I started looking at things differently. I have developed a greater understanding and awareness of my actions and reactions, of my limiting beliefs and I am so thankful for the opportunity to develop this in to a more positive life - each experience has occurred to led me on a path of greater understanding not only of myself - but of others. It is a good feeling.

I am grateful for the ability to choose my reality, and what is true for me. My gratitude extends to all the people I have encountered who have created an experience in my life to learn from - even the negative painful experiences have allowed me to discover inner strength and awareness. I have been able to look inside myself to rediscover ways to live my life that present greater value to all around me.

And now all I can say is 感谢!

Thursday, May 12, 2011

A labour of love

Today is Nurses' Day, and if I don't work in Hospis, I'll never know and perhaps, won't even bother to find out.

Therefore, I would like to pay my tribute to all the nurses around the world today and especially to those unique ones who work, care and help people with life-limiting illnesses.
The entire philosophy behind end-of-life care, often called hospice or palliative care, is really about love, kindness and dignity - learning to appreciate life.
Helping to ease the pain and grief that comes with death is the role of those rare individuals who are willing to work with the dying.
This is a field where a nurse's assistance can really help patients and their families, and it is truly a unique allied health specialty.

It is a labour of love.
So, to all nurses out there...A Huge Thank You!

"There is no joy without hardship. If not for death, would we appreciate life? Those who learn to know death, rather than to fear and fight it, become our teachers about life." - Dr. Elisabeth Kubler Ross on Death & Dying.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

From Kitchen Table Wisdom

I'm sharing this because of my personal encounter with a few patients with life-limiting illnesses last week and had a discussion on subjects related to end-of-life. Although all of them said they are prepared to face death, I do hear their grievances and feel their pain. I often questioned myself what have I got to offer at such a time? Is my compassion enough?

I found and immediately learn from 'Dancing With Grief' taken from the Kitchen Table Wisdom by Rachel Naomi Remen.

“The healing of our present woundedness may lie in recognizing and reclaiming the capacity we all have to heal each other, the enormous power in the simplest of human relationships: the strength of a touch, the blessing of forgiveness, the grace of someone else taking you just as you are and finding in you an unsuspected goodness.

Everyone alive has suffered. It is the wisdom gained from our wounds and from our own experiences of suffering that makes us able to heal. Becoming expert has turned out to be less important than remembering and trusting the wholeness in myself and everyone else. Expertise cures, but wounded people can best be healed by other wounded people. Only other wounded people can understand what is needed, for the healing of suffering is compassion, not expertise.”

“The greatest gift we bring to anyone who is suffering is our wholeness.
Listening is the oldest and perhaps the most powerful tool of healing. It is often through the quality of our listening and not the wisdom of our words that we are able to effect the most profound changes in the people around us… Our listening creates sanctuary for the homeless parts within the other person. That which has been denied, unloved, devalued by themselves and by others. That which is hidden.
In this culture the soul and the heart too often go homeless.”

Listening creates a holy silence. When you listen generously to people, they can hear truth in themselves, often for the first time. And in the silence of listening, you can know yourself in everyone. Eventually you may be able to hear, in everyone and beyond everyone, the unseen singing softly to itself and to you.”

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Learning from an 'A' student

I have been busy and I'm loving it!

John and I have spent our time doing many things and shared many life's experiences together, but we have never studied and went to school together.
For the past months, my weekends had been occupied with attending Korean classes.
Taking Korean lessons created an opportunity for me to learn from John and about John academically.

Well, I heard he was an 'A' student but to what extend I never really knew until recently.
When we signed up for Korean lessons, all I wanted was only to be able to converse and understand. I flipped when I realized that we have to learn to write and sit for the exam!! I hate exams! What more, this time round I had to sit in the exam alongside with a husband who was an 'A' student.
Anyway, however much I hated the exam part, I enjoyed the process leading to the exam eg. having the opportunity to go to school with John, doing revision together and we even took the public bus/LRT to school just to get the 'feel of a student life' all over again!

From John, I've learned all about discipline, diligence and what it takes to be the 'A' student he so deserves. He made sure that he sets aside time to revise his homework every night which means giving up his favourite TV programmes. He wasted no time and always able to find time to study in between lunch or while waiting for his clients. I am exactly the opposite of him...while John was revising his homework, I slept most times!

Lately, we received our exam results and without a doubt, John came up Top student in the class! He is every inch an 'A' student and I'm so proud of him. As for me, fortunately, I did fairly well too and I owe it to his guidance.

"The wise man should be generous in imparting his knowledge to others; for knowledge is not lessened by giving." - Solomon Ibn Gabirol

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Poem to my sister

I found some old photographs of us,
And recalled those moments with much happiness.

I treasure memories of you with love...

I remember who you used to be…
The house we stayed,
The laughter we shared,
The school we went,
The fights we fought,
Childhood games we played,

And I often wonder what you have become…
Where are you now,
Where did you go,
When your body is left behind
And the spirit was released to fly?

Perhaps you are the morning bird
I heard singing in the joyfully at sunrise.
Or the butterfly that dances
so carelessly on the breeze.

Perhaps you are the fingers of the afternoon mist
delicately reaching over the mountains and hills.
Or the final few rays of the setting sun
edging the clouds with a magical glow.
Or the rainbow of colors that brightens up a stormy sky.

In whatever form you have chosen to take,
No matter what you have chosen to be…
I know you are now at peace, happy and free.

Inspired by Kristi A. Dyer

Saturday, March 12, 2011


It's been a week already and I've somewhat settled down...

On Thursday, with 12 patients and 8 volunteers (4 of our regulars went on holiday) reporting at the Day Care, we managed to keep the day running fairly well.

As usual, Lyla checked in early to help clean up and prepare breakfast before leaving for her class and then, she was back again at 2pm after class. This is a true example of commitment which is much appreciated by all.

Most volunteers who were present made an effort to stay the whole day or almost, helping out in whatever ways possible. I’m also thankful that Dr. Gan actually stayed with us until the Day Care ‘close shop’. He assisted us in handling a difficult patient Mr. Cheeng with the massage etc.

At this point of writing, I still feel very blessed that helping hands were there without having even to ask….and then, food was given without having to seek. We had a variety of cakes for tea yesterday which took us a little by surprise. And it’s all from the generosity of these kind souls…
Irene Hoe (patient) brought in pineapple tarts and cookies.
Goh Wan Lit (patient) made an organic banana cake.
And another cake baked by Dr. Tuen
Dorothy (an ex-patient’s wife) made chocolate brownies for us, delivered via Eleanor.
Of course, Helen’s poppyseed cake was a hit. Helen has been contributing food for breakfast or tea every week which we all are so thankful for.

The surprise came when Goh Wan Lit’s friend Ah Lan, came with Tau Foo Fah and soyabean milk which she made for us. She even offered to send us tau foo fah and soyabean on a regular basis if we want. I was so touched by her kind gesture. This refreshment is also a welcome change from our usual ’tong sui’.

We had 2 tables of patients/volunteers playing Rami O yesterday. Gomathi being a little adventurous played ‘congkak’ with Siti Jahariah and Ramah as they were sitting alone and not keen to use the Quiet Room.
Unfortunately for Ramah, although her spirit is willing, the flesh is weak. Although she made efforts to pick up the dices/seeds, her attempts failed. The reason for her enthusiasm? She said congkak used to be her childhood game. Perhaps, it sparkled off some good memories for her too.
As usual, everyone participated in Bingo except for Kok Moi who was feeling very tired yesterday. Our guest/tau foo fah supplier, Ah Lan played on her behalf and struck a bingo!

For me, it was a busy day with some lessons for take home to reflect as well. It feels good just to know that we do have people kind enough to support us in various ways and I must thank each and every one of them.

Monday, February 28, 2011


February this year has been a busy and joyous month for me. Busy merry making and bonding with friends and it was all so good.

Pre Chinese New Year Celebrations with fellow volunteers at Hospis.

Toast to a great year ahead!

Lo Sang with running friends at SKH Riverview Seafood Village.

Reunite with Good Old Colleagues after many years at Purple Cane, Gardens Mid Valley.

New Year's eve at Pek Moi's house.

Where rulers of this country divide, runners unite! Running friends of all races : Malay, Indian and Chinese.

Running on the 1st Day of CNY

Running from Desa Park City to TTDI.

Another gathering with Pacesetters friends at Full House, Sunway Giza.

Sing! It's good for the soul.

Play! And enjoy life!
"It is not how much we have but how much we enjoy that makes happiness."

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Something to ponder...

Someone has written these beautiful words. One must read and try to understand the deep meanings in them. They are like the Ten Commandments to follow in life all the time.

1] Prayer is not a "spare wheel" that you pull out when in trouble; it is a "steering wheel" that directs us in the right path throughout life.

2] Do you know why a car's WINDSHIELD is so large & the rear view mirror is so small? Because our PAST is not as important as our FUTURE. So, look ahead and move on.

3] Friendship is like a BOOK. It takes few seconds to burn, but it takes years to write.

4] All things in life are temporary. If going well enjoy it, they will not last forever. If going wrong don't worry, they can't last long either.

5] Old friends are like Gold! New friends are Diamonds! If you get a Diamond, don't forget the Gold! Because to hold a Diamond, you always need a base of Gold!

6] Often when we lose hope and think this is the end, GOD smiles from above and says, "Relax, sweetheart, it's just a bend, not the end!

7] When GOD solves your problems, you have faith in HIS abilities; when GOD doesn't solve your problems HE has faith in your abilities.

8] A blind person asked St. Anthony: "Can there be anything worse than losing eye sight?" He replied: "Yes, losing your vision."

9] When you pray for others, God listens to you and blesses them; and sometimes, when you are safe and happy, remember that someone has prayed for you.

10] WORRYING does not take away tomorrow's TROUBLES; it takes away today's PEACE.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Who's my valentine?

Every year cupid's arrow-range expands, and anyone can be my Valentine...from my husband, family, friends and in my case today, fellow hospis volunteers and patients.

Yesterday, at a CNY gathering I wore a T-shirt which has a pink heart design and beautifully embroidered on it are the words HAPPY EVERYDAY! A friend commented that she likes the T-shirt and she should wear it so that she can be happy again (hopefully).
I asked her why isn't she happy? She replied, "It's Valentine's Day tomorrow and I do not have my soul-mate around to celebrate with me anymore!" Her husband passed away suddenly while jogging in the park 2 years ago.

We chatted awhile and I comforted her that Valentine's Day is not only meant to be celebrated amongst lovers or spouses, but anyone dear or someone you care for.

This year, I didn't celebrate with John. Instead, I went out with 5 fellow volunteers from Hospis and we bought lunch for a few patients who had been discharged from our Day Care. We touch based and comforted one another.

At the end of the day, the message is clear : Love is as simple as just having a meal together and continuously caring for one another.

"If we stop looking for somebody to love us, we can immediately turn that around and just start looking for people to love."

Monday, February 7, 2011

True Forgiveness Day

I woke up this morning and ask for forgiveness.

Anchoring the Light Ministry declares February 7th as “True Forgiveness Day” A day to give the gift of True Forgiveness for absolutely everyone and everything in light of unity consciousness. This is the day to “first remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck that is in your brother’ s eye.” Luke 6:41-42.

After all…I’ve done it…you’ve done it…they’ve done it…in fact we’ve all committed every conceivable crime there is either mentally or physically because energy and matter are one and the same. And like Buddha said over 2,000 years ago “all is Mind”. Think about it…have you ever killed someone with a thought? Have you ever lied to yourself, robbed yourself of happiness or sucked someone’s energy in order for you to feel better about yourself? I bet that if you absolutely told the truth on yourself, you would see that you’ve done it all and that there is no crime that you’re not guilty of, at least potentially in your mind. No point in blaming anyone for anything anymore because the truth is out; what we perceive to be outside of us is simply our many other selves animating our guilt and our loveless thoughts, words and deeds in the external world. But first, know this it all started in your mind!

The truth is - you are the one you hate, the one you love, the one you judge and attack and the one you close your heart to. There can be no one else out there because there is only one – YOU. In fact you are a multi dimensional being acting on the stage of your life wearing many masks, but playing all the parts. Shakespeare was right when he wrote

“All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players; they have their exits and their entrances, and one man in his time plays many parts”

And now with the celestial speed up taking place in the world, if we want freedom for one and all we must embrace our lost and lonely selves crying out for love through the process of true forgiveness. We have little time to be finger pointing, so please listen with your heart. There is a Divine plan unfolding in the cosmos that has little or nothing to do with what your ego wants and everything to do with bringing your life and this entire planet back into harmony. Forgive yourself, your life, your country, your neighbor and whatever else you need to forgive and declare that the resurrection power lives in you!

Make this day, February 7th come alive with true forgiveness and feel in your heart that everything in this world is breathing along with you. Know that every man women and child is God in you and that every tree, flower and ocean is God in you. Just know that God soars on the wings of an eagle, and sees through the eyes of a whale. Know that God claims you to be his only begotten Son - light and lover of life. Feel in your heart, His hands reach down from heaven and claim you to be his music and his dance, his artist and his creative mind expressing infinitely throughout the universe. And then above all else, realize that your eyes will only see His hand upon all things when you act with true forgiveness. Learn kindness and give the gift of your Highest Self, the part of you that knows only of peace, joy, light, love and compassion.

Declare this day to be your day; a day that you finally throw off the shackles of resentment and through the selfless gift of true forgiveness breathe new life into your soul by seeing the entire world at peace inside of your heart. The next time someone does something to you stop and ask yourself “would I accuse myself of this”? Then choose always to give the gift of true forgiveness in light of unity consciousness.

Steps to giving the Gift
1. Get up and begin your day with a simple prayer of “Help me Lord”. You need a guide on this journey of spiritual recovery. Don’t kid yourself. True forgiveness requires a Higher Power at work in your life.

2. Think of everyone that you have shut out of your heart and see your face in place of theirs and know that these people are disguised as your many other selves crying out for love and acceptance. Realize that you can set yourself free through the gift of true forgiveness. Say to yourself - I will not cast the first stone, as I see the sins of humanity are also in me. I look inside first with compassion and uproot my own guilt.

3. Be grateful to these people for showing you all the unhealed guilt trapped within your consciousness. Identify what it is the person is showing you about yourself. Know that they are animating a part of you that you’re not seeing. Name the so called sin/mistake so that you can uproot it from your own consciousness.

4. Know that every conceivable sin/mistake ever committed lies as a potential crime in all of us as we are both energy and matter.

5. See your brother or sister as yourself because your brother IS yourself and then practice being very grateful to each and everyone who has caused you to be uncomfortable for they have been sent by God to help you see yourself and the guilt you hold. Say to yourself – “Thank you for showing me my own guilt. I didn’t see it before you came along. Now I can forgive myself and you too because you have helped save me from myself” Claim that the resurrection power is in you!

End the day with a prayer that lets God know that you are grateful for absolutely everyone and everything in your life!

It is my prayer that you choose to make February 7th the first day of the rest of your life by setting your heart spirit free in the name of true forgiveness. Please help us to spread the good word that February 7th has been declared as TRUE FORGIVENESS DAY to one and all.

In the light of peace on earth
with love always,


Thursday, February 3, 2011

The rabbit hops in...

The rabbit hops in today to greet us another new Lunar Year!

This morning, other than Gary, Seah, Chan Wing Kai, Tony, John and I, we were surprised to see a lot more runners gathered at Bukit Aman to do their morning run. There was also Terence and with him were Maybel, Chooi Wan, Dr. Pui San, Dr. Su Mei, Veron, Alexis, Winnie and a few more who are preparing for the coming Hong Kong Marathon.

It is certainly good to know that people are now more conscious of their health and the importance of exercise. A very positive way to begin the new year!

Today is an auspicious day to wish everyone a year brand new.

"Let us look forward to a year of great love, blessings, happiness, improve health and easier finances.

May the challenges that come our way be the ones that will gain us logical insights and realize us into better people.

May all our successes and achievements humble us even more.

May we live with good intention. Practise compassion. Play with abandon. Laugh. Choose with no regrets. Appreciate friends. Count our blessings. Continue to learn. Do what we love. And live as if this is all there is."

Friday, January 14, 2011

Cameron Highlands revisited

My first holiday of the year is made of these...















"To him in whom love dwells, the whole world is but one family." - Buddha

Thank You for taking time off to share a moment of your life with me, my dear friends...John, Uncle Hooi, Janet, Lyne & Jenny!

Monday, January 10, 2011

Restart again

Time flew again, faster than I could imagine which year I'm actually in now.

I was busy tying up the tail ends of a 'warehouse' project for my boss which will end in another 2 days. After that, I'll hit the reset button in my life so that I can drop the past, move on and start again.

I'm not sure what I'll do for 2011.
Making resolutions have become so passe nowadays, yet it is good to have some goals for the new year. For me, I think I'll just list down some basics which I know I can do and gonna achieve :

1. Learn Korean language (Registered. Class commencing on 15th Jan).

2. Take time to enjoy (Just back from a short break to Camerons with friends).

3. Ask for help when I need it.

4. Have a clear conscience and learn to listen to my heart more often.

5. Spend wisely.

6. Eat. Love. Pray.

Letting go old patterns is a huge task but every new year gives me an opportunity to reflect on all my flaws and unfulfilled missions, and set in motion renewed vows again.

2011, I welcome you and look forward all that you have in store for me!