Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Remembering Jennifer

Yesterday I managed to catch up with Shih Ming. She is one of my childhood friends who used to be my neighbour. We shared and stayed under the same roof : her family occupied the front portion, while we took the back portion as our humble abode. We also happened to go to the same school, except that she went to School One while my sisters and I were from School 2. And there was always a saga between the School One and School Two even though they were the same school! Until today I still don't understand why?! Shih Ming took Bas Sekolah to school and I took public transport or sometimes 'jalan kaki' (by foot).

There were moments of melancholy when we started lamenting the passing of my sister, Jennifer. It's been exactly 3 years yesterday and she still resides very much in our hearts. Shih Ming and I chatted and wonder if she misses us as much as we missed her. For me, I recalled the bittersweet days of yesteryears, when she was around doing what sisters did together : growing up, playing games, going to school, singing in church, fighting and making up and then fighting again, laughing loudly at some silly jokes, griefing over the loss of our father, went 'ga ga' over the late Leslie Cheung, forgiving when forgiveness is due, getting married, rejoicing over the arrival of my little nephew, family reunions etc.
Time to cherish and savour, and presently just to remember.

Whatever - One thing remains very clear that no matter how we fought, we never failed to give support or help each other when help is needed. All goes to prove that the foundation of love that we learnt in our school (BBGS) is so strong that it has stood us in good stead over the years. Unfortunately BBGS no longer exists but for anyone who has a part of it, they must count themselves very fortunate. For me, BBGS has been one incredible experience of life and love, a blessing.

We pondered over the question, "Where is Jennifer now? Is she in heaven? Where is heaven if there's one?
The passing of Jennifer has somewhat driven my desire to bring me closer to nature in an attempt to get me to open my heart.
In his book 'Talking to Heaven' James Van Praagh describes heaven as such :
"I personally believe that heaven is the other side of our physical world and is very much like our physical world with similar sights and sounds, although more vivid and more colorful. I believe there are many levels to heaven, and we go to that level we have created by our thoughts, words and deeds while on earth. Those of us who have grown to the same spiritual level will reside with one another in the same heaven. Beings who are more spiritually aware reside on a higher level, and less evolved souls are on a lower level. We can never go to a higher level until we earn it. However, those beings on a higher level can go to a lower sphere, and in many cases assist those souls who are not as aware. We go to the heaven that we have created based upon our words, thoughts and deeds while on earth."

I am not all that spiritual to discuss about heavenly matters or anything related. What's important is the passing of Jennifer and also some of my friends recently has taught me to value and appreciate life. Like Randy Pausch mentioned in his Last Lecture, " Time is all you have. And you may find one day that you have less than you think."

"Live your life each day as you would climb a mountain. An occassional glance toward the summit keeps the goal in mind, but many beautiful scenes are to be observed from each new vantage point. Climb slowly, steadily, enjoying each passing moment; and the view from the summit will serve as a fitting climax for the journey." - Harold B. Melchart


luckysanjana said...

A lovely post........Im new to your space.....your love for your sister reflects from it.........Im not so blessed ..........My sister and I are estranged.... It doesnt mean that i have stopped loving her just means that i will not give her the power to hurt me again...i still think of her and pray for her..........
My sister and I have many good memories of each other as well......I will hang on to those ........
and you are so right time is all we have and we dont know how much we have left so hurry we must.........god bless

Lew said...

It does not seem right when someone our own age is taken from us. Older generations passing I can understand and accept. A beautiful way to remember Jennifer! Keep her alive in your heart.