Sunday, February 1, 2009

Introspection

January passed by so swiftly and quietly...it's been kinda boring month. Like some people, I'm feeling a little fragile and introspective.
Everything else remained the same except that it was a workday for everyone I know but me. Or so it seemed. Whatever it is - I stick to the basics and was pleased to have accomplished even just a few things.

Decluttering physically and mentally
In the spirit of economising and cutting back, I started thinking of things and people I don't need, especially the ones who clutter my life and don't bring any positive energy to me.
Last Christmas, I spent the whole afternoon clearing out all the clothes that John and I don't need and gave away to the Home for Spastic Children (a project by Tony). This Chinese New Year, I cleared my kitchen and discovered the huge amount of utensils that my mom bought and never use them! I called up the House Of Joy to check if they needed them and sent all the kitchen utensils and other stuffs to them.
Well, when it comes to people...it's much harder. Who do you want to keep and who should you let go? In the end I concluded that those who have nothing better than annoy the hell out of me have no right to have any place in my life. Fair? But perhaps, they appeared in my life to test my patience? To teach me lessons I need to learn? I don't know but people come into our lives for a reason and when their time is up, they go. If they are fated to remain longer, they stay.
Peter Walsh author of the book 'It's All Too Much' commented on the Oprah Winfrey Show that we should also learn to get rid of unhappy memories that clutter our mind and invite pleasant and positive thoughts to fill in. If we hold too long to unpleasant or 'toxic' memories, then it would be difficult for blessings to flow in us.

Spending less and wisely
Everyone is talking about the global economic crisis, the stock market's downward tumble and all the economic woes it brings.
Spending less means spending but wisely. Many times, I must confess I often find myself splashing out on unnecessary items and ended purchasing things that I don't really need or particularly want. Those stuff would normally sit in the cupboard for ages until the next de-clutter process or the next.
Sometimes it's just difficult to restrain our retail urges. Perhaps, when we're on a shopping spree, our brains are no longer our own...which resulted impulse spending. This often leave a sense of regret what retailers call "buyer's remorse".
For now and at least for the past few months, before making any purchase, I often ponder and ask myself, "Do I really need them? Will I be using them? For how long? And I do see some progress.

Running alone and freely
Everything on my running route seemed normal. I haven't participated in any race yet.
Recently, although I did not officially run the Great Eastern 30km Race - I followed the exact 30km course with other runners. I stayed right at the back for the pack and was rather pleased to complete that very challenging 30km within 3 hours.
Nowadays, I run briefly and alone most mornings and on weekends, I try longer distance with my running buddies. It's always good to have both kinds of running agenda, the solitary and the shared. Although sometimes, I'm sold on heading out alone. No schedules to shift, no chatter, no one to chase. And more doors left to open.
Running solo at times is not all that bad. Solitary run can slow things down, de-torque the body, mind and spirit, put the world on hold even if it's only for awhile, and return to the unhurried tempo of an earlier time. While running by myself, I don't have to care much about movements...I'm free to find whatever rhythm I want and the only words I hear will be those in my own head. I shun the modernday invasive chattering and simply notice what is left : myself.

Then, I was so happy that John and I finally managed to get tickets to watch the musical Mamma Mia. We had a blast!

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