I've been absent from Hospis for 3 months already.
Today I'm glad to find time to visit Hospis again.
The place is still the same. The volunteers and staff are still familiar to me. But the patients I once knew are all gone!
I was told that some have been discharged.
I missed them.
I was sad to learn that CK Loh, Madam Chong, Joe Han and Mr Ong had recently gone Home to their Maker.
But I am happy that at least, they are finally free from all pain and suffer no more...
Each one of them has taught me a life's lesson and I want to thank them for it.
Life is short and so fragile!
"All endings are also beginnings. We just don't know it at the time. The truth is, once you learn how to die, you learn to live." - Mitch Albom
Showing posts with label hospis. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hospis. Show all posts
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Turning shit into fertilizers?
This workshop is about facilitating hope in advanced illnesses, which I attended in August courtesy of Hospis Malaysia.
Facilitating Hope in advanced illnesses
Advances in medicine do not always ease the burden of suffering and may also cause despair to patients and families. Many still succumb to their illness despite the best medical intentions.
HOPE
Hope is a multi-dimensional dynamic life force characterized by a confident yet uncertain expectation of achieving a future good, which, to the hoping person, is realistically possible and personally significant.
Hope is the bridge from the experiences of the past, accepting the reality of the present and taking the next step to the future to an achievable goal.
“If I can’t sit with despair, obviously I can’t facilitate hope.
If I don’t know how to use the medicine of hope for myself, how can I do it to others?
If I can’t change the situation, then I’m challenge to change myself.”
Ask, “What gives me hope? What motivates me?”
Here, we explored how we can facilitate hope, visiting all the 4 quadrants:
Physical – experience the world with security.
Emotional – experience the world with feelings, with self.
Intellectual – experience the world through good judgment.
Spiritual – experience the world with intuition. to find purpose in life. to have inner peace.
Hope blossoms with:
1. Presence of meaningful relationships.
2. Ability to feel light-hearted.
3. Clear aims.
4. Courage, determination and security.
5. Ability to recall positive moments.
6. Having one’s individuality accepted and respected.
7. Spiritual beliefs.
Yet if all else fails and there’s really nothing else left to say, it would be wise to just keep silent and lend a listening ear to the patient.
“If I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain.
If I can ease one heart the aching or cool one pain,
I shall not live in vain.” – Emily Dickinson
One of my experiences came the day when Madam Tan Loy, a cancer patient at the Day Care Centre especially requested for me to massage her. The first thought that came to my mind was, “Ah, my massage must be good and making her so comfortable that she asked for me…” Pride swept over me immediately. While I was massaging her, I suddenly realized that my massage was no big deal. The big deal was Madam Tan Loy needed to talk to someone. The big deal was Madam Tan Loy needed someone to listen to her. At the end of our conversation, she told me that she will not be attending the Day Care for the next couple of months as she will be going for her treatment.
It was not by accident that Madam Tan Loy chose me. I'm sure she was there to show me an important lesson. Thank God, it did not take me too long to learn this lesson. To be a good listener is an art. I felt humbled by the experience and so much more.
Indeed, I’ve learned so much from patients themselves and they just do not have any idea how much they have actually healed me.
“A thousand words will not leave so deep an impression as one deed.” – Henry Ibsen
Facilitating Hope in advanced illnesses
Advances in medicine do not always ease the burden of suffering and may also cause despair to patients and families. Many still succumb to their illness despite the best medical intentions.
HOPE
Hope is a multi-dimensional dynamic life force characterized by a confident yet uncertain expectation of achieving a future good, which, to the hoping person, is realistically possible and personally significant.
Hope is the bridge from the experiences of the past, accepting the reality of the present and taking the next step to the future to an achievable goal.
“If I can’t sit with despair, obviously I can’t facilitate hope.
If I don’t know how to use the medicine of hope for myself, how can I do it to others?
If I can’t change the situation, then I’m challenge to change myself.”
Ask, “What gives me hope? What motivates me?”
Here, we explored how we can facilitate hope, visiting all the 4 quadrants:
Physical – experience the world with security.
Emotional – experience the world with feelings, with self.
Intellectual – experience the world through good judgment.
Spiritual – experience the world with intuition. to find purpose in life. to have inner peace.
Hope blossoms with:
1. Presence of meaningful relationships.
2. Ability to feel light-hearted.
3. Clear aims.
4. Courage, determination and security.
5. Ability to recall positive moments.
6. Having one’s individuality accepted and respected.
7. Spiritual beliefs.
Yet if all else fails and there’s really nothing else left to say, it would be wise to just keep silent and lend a listening ear to the patient.
“If I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain.
If I can ease one heart the aching or cool one pain,
I shall not live in vain.” – Emily Dickinson
One of my experiences came the day when Madam Tan Loy, a cancer patient at the Day Care Centre especially requested for me to massage her. The first thought that came to my mind was, “Ah, my massage must be good and making her so comfortable that she asked for me…” Pride swept over me immediately. While I was massaging her, I suddenly realized that my massage was no big deal. The big deal was Madam Tan Loy needed to talk to someone. The big deal was Madam Tan Loy needed someone to listen to her. At the end of our conversation, she told me that she will not be attending the Day Care for the next couple of months as she will be going for her treatment.
It was not by accident that Madam Tan Loy chose me. I'm sure she was there to show me an important lesson. Thank God, it did not take me too long to learn this lesson. To be a good listener is an art. I felt humbled by the experience and so much more.
Indeed, I’ve learned so much from patients themselves and they just do not have any idea how much they have actually healed me.
“A thousand words will not leave so deep an impression as one deed.” – Henry Ibsen
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Topics of the heart
Last August, I was very privileged to be given an opportunity to participate in my first palliative care workshop organized by Hospis Malaysia. It was held at Wijaya International Medical Centre and was facilitated by Dr. Susan Marsden, a Palliative Care Specialist from New Zealand and Ms. Liese Groot-Alberts, a professional Grief Therapist also from New Zealand. Participants comprising mainly of doctors and nurses came from various parts of the country.
I was a little anxious when Eleanor, another volunteer who was supposed to attend this workshop with me couldn’t make it. I would be the only volunteer there. Later, I was relieved to meet some familiar faces: Harbans Kaur from Kasih Hospice, Mei Queen from Breast Cancer Women’s Association and all the nurses I knew from Hospis Malaysia.
Understanding Grief and Suffering
This workshop dealt with understanding the process of grief and suffering, the risk factors, managing anticipatory grief, dealing with patients as well as our own response to loss. Grief Therapist Liese shared with us her experience on grief when she lost her 3 year old daughter just 3 days after the arrival of her baby boy. Do friends congratulate and send you condolences at the same time? How does one actually cope with such a complex situation?
“If you want to help people who are grieving, you must first deal with your own grief.”
The morning was spent on understanding the human personality (ourselves). Dr Susan Marsden divides the human personality into 4 quadrants:
Physical – as how we know or interact with the world with our 5 senses.
Emotional – as how we know or interact with the world with the self and how relationships are developed.
Intellectual – as how we know or interact with the world with reason.
Spiritual – as how we know or interact with the world with our intuition and how we know our purpose.
Burn out and Compassion fatigue
Many times, we get too involved or engrossed with patient’s problems that we tend to forget about our own self. Compassion fatigue comes when we became burn out and too tired of being compassionate.
Sometimes, too much pain gets in the way and we can’t stay in the truth anymore.
We can also get burn out by the administration or structure with patients.
We went on to discuss the symptoms of compassion fatigue from the 4 quadrants:
Physical – bodily aches, allergies, migraines, tired, itchy eyes, sleep disturbance, low energy etc.
Emotional – temperamental, angry, aloof, stressed, anxious, frustrated etc.
Spiritual – negative, hopelessness, despair, confused, curious, lack faith, spiritual war, lack inner peace etc.
Intellectual – forgetful, lost focus, lack passion, under perform, procrastination etc.
The caregiver’s journey
More than an hour was spent reflecting on the journey of the caregiver. Doctors and nurses shared their experiences on their journey as care-givers. Their hopes and dreams. Their encounter with their first patient, remembering an important lesson and the impact or difference it made in their career. Later, they were asked to picture that patient writing to them reflecting on the care-giver they have become today.
On the second day of the workshop, we stormed our brains on understanding and exploring suffering. Suffering of families and others. The practical aspects of working with patients and families, and at the same time learning some communication skills.
Towards the end of this session we were required to discuss and ponder over the following questions:
1. What if the suffering is related to treatment decisions?
2. Does treatment increase suffering?
3. Does cure and increased survival reduce suffering?
4. Does over treatment and investigation cause more suffering?
It is absolutely apparent that although many healthcare workers are trying their best to deal with illness, they do not receive sufficient exposure in dealing with the aspect of grief and loss. Like me, I’m sure the rest of the participants have benefited from this module. Personally, I find this workshop extremely enriching and stimulating as it has opened my eyes to see the world at a different perspective. It has also taught me that the heart never lies – I have to learn to listen to my heart more. With this, I hope to be able to serve and help those terminally ill at Hospis in a more professional manner.
“What is as important as knowledge?” asked the mind.
“Caring and seeing with the heart.” answered the soul.
I was a little anxious when Eleanor, another volunteer who was supposed to attend this workshop with me couldn’t make it. I would be the only volunteer there. Later, I was relieved to meet some familiar faces: Harbans Kaur from Kasih Hospice, Mei Queen from Breast Cancer Women’s Association and all the nurses I knew from Hospis Malaysia.
Understanding Grief and Suffering
This workshop dealt with understanding the process of grief and suffering, the risk factors, managing anticipatory grief, dealing with patients as well as our own response to loss. Grief Therapist Liese shared with us her experience on grief when she lost her 3 year old daughter just 3 days after the arrival of her baby boy. Do friends congratulate and send you condolences at the same time? How does one actually cope with such a complex situation?
“If you want to help people who are grieving, you must first deal with your own grief.”
The morning was spent on understanding the human personality (ourselves). Dr Susan Marsden divides the human personality into 4 quadrants:
Physical – as how we know or interact with the world with our 5 senses.
Emotional – as how we know or interact with the world with the self and how relationships are developed.
Intellectual – as how we know or interact with the world with reason.
Spiritual – as how we know or interact with the world with our intuition and how we know our purpose.
Burn out and Compassion fatigue
Many times, we get too involved or engrossed with patient’s problems that we tend to forget about our own self. Compassion fatigue comes when we became burn out and too tired of being compassionate.
Sometimes, too much pain gets in the way and we can’t stay in the truth anymore.
We can also get burn out by the administration or structure with patients.
We went on to discuss the symptoms of compassion fatigue from the 4 quadrants:
Physical – bodily aches, allergies, migraines, tired, itchy eyes, sleep disturbance, low energy etc.
Emotional – temperamental, angry, aloof, stressed, anxious, frustrated etc.
Spiritual – negative, hopelessness, despair, confused, curious, lack faith, spiritual war, lack inner peace etc.
Intellectual – forgetful, lost focus, lack passion, under perform, procrastination etc.
The caregiver’s journey
More than an hour was spent reflecting on the journey of the caregiver. Doctors and nurses shared their experiences on their journey as care-givers. Their hopes and dreams. Their encounter with their first patient, remembering an important lesson and the impact or difference it made in their career. Later, they were asked to picture that patient writing to them reflecting on the care-giver they have become today.
On the second day of the workshop, we stormed our brains on understanding and exploring suffering. Suffering of families and others. The practical aspects of working with patients and families, and at the same time learning some communication skills.
Towards the end of this session we were required to discuss and ponder over the following questions:
1. What if the suffering is related to treatment decisions?
2. Does treatment increase suffering?
3. Does cure and increased survival reduce suffering?
4. Does over treatment and investigation cause more suffering?
It is absolutely apparent that although many healthcare workers are trying their best to deal with illness, they do not receive sufficient exposure in dealing with the aspect of grief and loss. Like me, I’m sure the rest of the participants have benefited from this module. Personally, I find this workshop extremely enriching and stimulating as it has opened my eyes to see the world at a different perspective. It has also taught me that the heart never lies – I have to learn to listen to my heart more. With this, I hope to be able to serve and help those terminally ill at Hospis in a more professional manner.
“What is as important as knowledge?” asked the mind.
“Caring and seeing with the heart.” answered the soul.
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