For the last couple of weeks, I was terribly upset after terminating a stressful 'relationship' where my pride was constantly being assaulted. It is extremely hurting being called brainless and worse than senseless things!
My boss of 25 years has always introduced me as her 'friend' to all her friends and clients. Well, we've been working for that long; shared good times and braved through bad times. Can you imagine, I've watched all her four sons from birth and now they are all grown! Yet to me, she is never my friend and I am glad I never regarded her as one. For as long as she pays my salary, she'll remain my boss. My friends will never use abusive words to hurt me. Never!
Thus, ended a relationship of 25 years! My friends never envy my loyalty but admired my tolerance level. Enough. Period. They all supported and rejoiced with me when I made my final decision, so did John. Later, I received an e-mail from one of my good friends which I thought was most appropriate to me at that moment. I took some excerpts from it to share here:
Words are very important. Words can heal and words can harm. Words can hurt grieviously and for a long time. The tongue can bless and the tongue can curse. Many times, when we are angry we say the most atrocious things. We forget ourselves and become indifferent to what we say. We blast the other person without mercy, although we may not mean those words. But words once spoken can not be taken back and it takes a long time to forgive and forget. Many couples are particularly prone to such outbursts when they get mad. It is not an easy thing to control our tongue when we are provoked, boiled over with anger or have outburst of wrath.
Uncontrollable words spoken in anger can have devastating effect. Angry words, that are used thoughtlessly such as "You have no brains," or "You are worse than senseless things" cause pain and feelings of rejection. They give rise to insecurity. The unmeant and foolish words contain full of deadly poison and can play havoc in the mind. It will make reconciliation very difficult.
We must also be very careful that in our anger we do not label our children with ugly names such as fat, stupid, pig, useless, good for nothing. Such negative remarks can do harm to them for years to come and may ruin the possibility of a relationship with that person for life. We must never use words to knock our children down. To help our children to fulfill their highest potential we should be their greatest encourager. A word of love can be the greatest acts of love.
A word of love is the greatest acts of love. It can take away fear, isolation, shame and guilt. It can reconcile, unite, forgive and heal. It can bring peace and joy, inner freedom and deep gratitude. When we choose to speak words of care, words of encouragement, words of praise, words of love, positive words...they uplift and give meaning to life. When we say, "I love you" or "I think of you" to our loved ones or friends, we choose to give life. It is not always easy to express our love directly in words but whenever we do, we are offering a blessing that will be long remembered. When a child says to his father,"I love you" or when a mother says to her child "I love you", a whole new blessed place can be opened up, a space where it is good to dwell. Indeed, words have the power to create life.
The above are excerpts taken from Bread for the Journey and posted by Jason Timothy to me. Thanks, Jason!