I've been absent from Hospis for 3 months already.
Today I'm glad to find time to visit Hospis again.
The place is still the same. The volunteers and staff are still familiar to me. But the patients I once knew are all gone!
I was told that some have been discharged.
I missed them.
I was sad to learn that CK Loh, Madam Chong, Joe Han and Mr Ong had recently gone Home to their Maker.
But I am happy that at least, they are finally free from all pain and suffer no more...
Each one of them has taught me a life's lesson and I want to thank them for it.
Life is short and so fragile!
"All endings are also beginnings. We just don't know it at the time. The truth is, once you learn how to die, you learn to live." - Mitch Albom
Showing posts with label death. Show all posts
Showing posts with label death. Show all posts
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
In memory of Ngae
After 2 weeks of gloom and doom, I'll like to think of brighter days ahead.
Last Sunday, Wan Yew Leong our former president of the Pacesetters Athletics Club initiated an impromptu memorial run for Ngae followed by breakfast. The turn-out was overwhelming. Wan commented that it was as good as a 30km practise run that he executed some years back. No doubt about that. Many came wearing their sarongs for the very first time (yours truly included) to run and some even ran barefooted (Ngae's trademark). Not that easy but we did it in memory of this man, our fellow runner and friend. I'm sure Ngae will be happy to know that so many of his friends from all over turned up to honour and remember him this way.
At 6am, the Bukit Aman carpark was already filled up with cars and runners were seen busy putting up our bibs 'In Memory Of Ngae Koh Hieng'. At 6.30am sharp, the event began with a short speech by Wan Yew Leong and a touching message from Ngae's wife delivered by Juliana Ali (Ngae's team-mate during the Langkawi Ironman 2009). We then observed a minute of silence after which, everyone was free to run their own distance.
I chose to walk with Lyn, Jenny Lee, Jenny Lim, Wern Jun, Siew Yin, Kien Ho and for the first time, Sofian's wife Tip joined us. She doesn't come out often and that Sunday, she came because of Ngae. We were unusually quiet in the begining. Perhaps, each of us, has our way of reminiscing our friendship with Ngae. Later Lok Chan Chuen caught up with us and broke the ice.
As we chatted, we realized that most of us shared similar feelings we had for Ngae. Feelings of deep regrets, of shame and of guilt. If only one of us cared enough to visit him...if only someone sensed it coming...if only we bothered...if only we knew.
This is life, very often things happened and we are left with...if only.
On that fateful Saturday, while John and I together with a group of volunteers from Pacesetters were busy distributing the New Balance 15km bibs to runners...
while we were packing goody bags and preparing some other stuffs...
while others were having tea and joking or perhaps, some went on a shopping spree..
There was a man, our friend facing his darkest hour. He was not an ordinary man we know - he had run 100km to raise fund for a kidney patient. He survived a 7 day challenge of the Marathon Des Sable running 243km across the Sahara. He conquered 3 Ironmans, did numerous Triathlons and ran countless marathons (barefooted and in his sarong)! He was an ultra runner extraordinaire.
But that evening he was hit by the pangs of loneliness...in solitude, depressed and confused. Something seemed so wrong! He was just waiting for the right time, the right place and the right moment to act. I wondered what was running through his mind at that moment?
Has he ever thought about the further suffering a fall from a height would cause his family and friends?
Has he ever wondered when his body would be found and shocking news his loved ones would receive?
Has he ever thought about life after death?
No, he was lost in his own world.
Many still struggled to get over this for awhile but the reality is, we had lost a friend.
We will live remembering Ngae as he was. Kind, humble, determined, loud, witty, bold, amiable and full of enthusiasm.
That Sunday morning it took Ngae's demise to bond us and to remind us again the important things in life. It also made us ponder our mortality.
As I reflect, I believe I need to do some soul searching and take a deeper look within myself.
"Life is divided into 3 terms - that which was, which is, and which will be. Let us learn from the past to profit by the present, and from the present to live better in the future." - William Wordsworth
Last Sunday, Wan Yew Leong our former president of the Pacesetters Athletics Club initiated an impromptu memorial run for Ngae followed by breakfast. The turn-out was overwhelming. Wan commented that it was as good as a 30km practise run that he executed some years back. No doubt about that. Many came wearing their sarongs for the very first time (yours truly included) to run and some even ran barefooted (Ngae's trademark). Not that easy but we did it in memory of this man, our fellow runner and friend. I'm sure Ngae will be happy to know that so many of his friends from all over turned up to honour and remember him this way.
At 6am, the Bukit Aman carpark was already filled up with cars and runners were seen busy putting up our bibs 'In Memory Of Ngae Koh Hieng'. At 6.30am sharp, the event began with a short speech by Wan Yew Leong and a touching message from Ngae's wife delivered by Juliana Ali (Ngae's team-mate during the Langkawi Ironman 2009). We then observed a minute of silence after which, everyone was free to run their own distance.
I chose to walk with Lyn, Jenny Lee, Jenny Lim, Wern Jun, Siew Yin, Kien Ho and for the first time, Sofian's wife Tip joined us. She doesn't come out often and that Sunday, she came because of Ngae. We were unusually quiet in the begining. Perhaps, each of us, has our way of reminiscing our friendship with Ngae. Later Lok Chan Chuen caught up with us and broke the ice.
As we chatted, we realized that most of us shared similar feelings we had for Ngae. Feelings of deep regrets, of shame and of guilt. If only one of us cared enough to visit him...if only someone sensed it coming...if only we bothered...if only we knew.
This is life, very often things happened and we are left with...if only.
On that fateful Saturday, while John and I together with a group of volunteers from Pacesetters were busy distributing the New Balance 15km bibs to runners...
while we were packing goody bags and preparing some other stuffs...
while others were having tea and joking or perhaps, some went on a shopping spree..
There was a man, our friend facing his darkest hour. He was not an ordinary man we know - he had run 100km to raise fund for a kidney patient. He survived a 7 day challenge of the Marathon Des Sable running 243km across the Sahara. He conquered 3 Ironmans, did numerous Triathlons and ran countless marathons (barefooted and in his sarong)! He was an ultra runner extraordinaire.
But that evening he was hit by the pangs of loneliness...in solitude, depressed and confused. Something seemed so wrong! He was just waiting for the right time, the right place and the right moment to act. I wondered what was running through his mind at that moment?
Has he ever thought about the further suffering a fall from a height would cause his family and friends?
Has he ever wondered when his body would be found and shocking news his loved ones would receive?
Has he ever thought about life after death?
No, he was lost in his own world.
Many still struggled to get over this for awhile but the reality is, we had lost a friend.
We will live remembering Ngae as he was. Kind, humble, determined, loud, witty, bold, amiable and full of enthusiasm.
That Sunday morning it took Ngae's demise to bond us and to remind us again the important things in life. It also made us ponder our mortality.
As I reflect, I believe I need to do some soul searching and take a deeper look within myself.
"Life is divided into 3 terms - that which was, which is, and which will be. Let us learn from the past to profit by the present, and from the present to live better in the future." - William Wordsworth
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Dedicated to Ngae
Sat : 15-05-10
Another sad sad day. John and I are saddened by the sudden demise of a friend, an icon, an ultra-marathoner, an ironman and the unique bare-footed runner with sarong named Ngae.
We tossed and turned all night, unable to shake the feeling that it might turn out to be a rumour but it wasn't. While we were both feeling so worn-out from the day's volunteering for the New Balance 15km Run, we couldn't sleep and decided to just stay awake. The news had left our emotions running low and feeling down. I was disturbed.
As a cancer survivor, Ngae went against all odds to perform feats that were beyond him. He overcame the impossible and inspired many runners. To me, he was one superfit strong fella who could sail through every storm and fight anything! So, while I was serving as a Hospis volunteer, it never crossed my mind to visit him although I knew he wasn't feeling well. How thoughtless can I be!
My mind flashed back to some fond memories of Ngae and the one that strike me right now is when he sang this song over the breakfast table at Pasar Rakyat Imbi a long while ago. It was also a song I knew from my youth and I'm gonna dedicate this song back to Ngae.
"I don't know about tomorrow,
I just live from day to day.
I don't borrow from its sunshine,
For its skies may be to grey.
I don't worry o'er the future,
For I know what Jesus said.
And today I'll walk beside Him,
As He knows what is ahead.
Many things about tomorrow,
I don't seem to understand.
But I know who holds tomorrow,
And I know who holds my hand.
Every step is getting brighter,
As the golden stairs I climb.
Every burden's getting lighter,
Every cloud is silver-lined.
There the sun is always shining,
There no tear will dim the eye.
At the ending of the rainbow,
Where the mountains touch the sky."
Ngae, no one knows why but as you return safely home to your Maker, may your soul find peace, comfort and rest. May the sun keep shining on you as you journey to the end of the rainbow where the mountains touch the sky.
You will be greatly missed!
Another sad sad day. John and I are saddened by the sudden demise of a friend, an icon, an ultra-marathoner, an ironman and the unique bare-footed runner with sarong named Ngae.
We tossed and turned all night, unable to shake the feeling that it might turn out to be a rumour but it wasn't. While we were both feeling so worn-out from the day's volunteering for the New Balance 15km Run, we couldn't sleep and decided to just stay awake. The news had left our emotions running low and feeling down. I was disturbed.
As a cancer survivor, Ngae went against all odds to perform feats that were beyond him. He overcame the impossible and inspired many runners. To me, he was one superfit strong fella who could sail through every storm and fight anything! So, while I was serving as a Hospis volunteer, it never crossed my mind to visit him although I knew he wasn't feeling well. How thoughtless can I be!
My mind flashed back to some fond memories of Ngae and the one that strike me right now is when he sang this song over the breakfast table at Pasar Rakyat Imbi a long while ago. It was also a song I knew from my youth and I'm gonna dedicate this song back to Ngae.
"I don't know about tomorrow,
I just live from day to day.
I don't borrow from its sunshine,
For its skies may be to grey.
I don't worry o'er the future,
For I know what Jesus said.
And today I'll walk beside Him,
As He knows what is ahead.
Many things about tomorrow,
I don't seem to understand.
But I know who holds tomorrow,
And I know who holds my hand.
Every step is getting brighter,
As the golden stairs I climb.
Every burden's getting lighter,
Every cloud is silver-lined.
There the sun is always shining,
There no tear will dim the eye.
At the ending of the rainbow,
Where the mountains touch the sky."
Ngae, no one knows why but as you return safely home to your Maker, may your soul find peace, comfort and rest. May the sun keep shining on you as you journey to the end of the rainbow where the mountains touch the sky.
You will be greatly missed!
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Okuribito
I borrowed this DVD from my friend Derrick and watched it twice before returning back to him. 'Okuribito' or 'Departure' is a touching movie about a cellist in an orchestra who has just been dissolved and found himself jobless.
He decided to move back to his hometown with his wife to look for a job and to start all over again. He answered to a classified advertisement entitled "Departures" thinking it is an advertisement for a travel agent, only to discover that the job is actually for a "Nokanshi". "Nokanshi" is a funeral professional who prepares deceased bodies for burial and entry into the next life. While his wife and friends despise his job, Daigo takes pride in his work and begins to perfect the art of "Nokanshi" acting as a gentle gatekeeper between life and death, between the departed and the deceased family.
'Okuribito' is a profound and sensitive journey into the heartland of Japan and an astonishingly beautiful look at the sacred part of Japan's culture and heritage. It also uncovers the meaning of life and living.
- It has taught me that every death matters, every person counts and grief, which is as inevitable as death can be beautiful and gracious.
- It has taught me to look at every job / task with respect. No job should be seen as unclean or disgraceful...even the lowliest task, if executed with reverence will ultimately be glorified and find its own rewards.
- Daigo the "Nokanshi" touches me with his kindness and courage. Although he initially really dislike his job, one could see and feel that he still performs with all his heart. When his wife persuaded him to quit and look for a normal job, he replied, "Death is normal. Everyone will die one day. You will die, so will I."
Finally, I fell in love with this instrument called 'cello'. Just listen quietly to this beautiful theme music by Joe Hisaishi : departures
He decided to move back to his hometown with his wife to look for a job and to start all over again. He answered to a classified advertisement entitled "Departures" thinking it is an advertisement for a travel agent, only to discover that the job is actually for a "Nokanshi". "Nokanshi" is a funeral professional who prepares deceased bodies for burial and entry into the next life. While his wife and friends despise his job, Daigo takes pride in his work and begins to perfect the art of "Nokanshi" acting as a gentle gatekeeper between life and death, between the departed and the deceased family.
'Okuribito' is a profound and sensitive journey into the heartland of Japan and an astonishingly beautiful look at the sacred part of Japan's culture and heritage. It also uncovers the meaning of life and living.
- It has taught me that every death matters, every person counts and grief, which is as inevitable as death can be beautiful and gracious.
- It has taught me to look at every job / task with respect. No job should be seen as unclean or disgraceful...even the lowliest task, if executed with reverence will ultimately be glorified and find its own rewards.
- Daigo the "Nokanshi" touches me with his kindness and courage. Although he initially really dislike his job, one could see and feel that he still performs with all his heart. When his wife persuaded him to quit and look for a normal job, he replied, "Death is normal. Everyone will die one day. You will die, so will I."
Finally, I fell in love with this instrument called 'cello'. Just listen quietly to this beautiful theme music by Joe Hisaishi : departures
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